Opinion Of A ‘Mere Analyst’

Sometimes in life, people disappoint you. And surprisingly so at that.
Sometimes in life, people let you down.

So, to the person who has disappointed and let me down today I say this:

Spare me the arrogance. Spare me the boasts.

Yes, I know you scored highly and I am sure the comments were very complimentary to you but do not forget – do not ever forget – that I know how you scored highly. And, what’s more, you know that I know.

If we all had the benefit and advantage you had, we would have scored highly too.

If you know the questions and subject of the summary report 24 hours in advance and if you have been ‘prepped’ by the very person chosen to interview you, then anyone with above average intelligence would score highly.

So please, spare me the arrogance and the boasts. Do not dare tell me that obviously you were ‘too bright for a mere analyst position’. Do not dare try to justify the position you accepted. Do not dare – while I am in earshot – tell others that your interview preparation is ‘clearly exceptional’ because I may not be so gracious as to hold my tongue next time.

Oh and don’t worry about thanking me for handing you that advantage. Just don’t forget that I did.

Because I won’t.

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Girl One: (looking at her phone) How do you spell Dizzier?
Girl Two: D.I.Z.I.E.R
Girl One: No, that’s desire.
Girl Three: I think it’s D.I.Z.Z.I.E.R
Girl One: No, that doesn’t look right.
Girl Two: Just put “More Dizzy”
Girl One: Yeah, I’ll just put “More Dizzy”.

I have to work with these people.
I need to find other employment.

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15th September 2001

Man’s World by Biscuit Boy
Me and my girl with nothing to do

The last time I remember being truly happy.

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Last Minute Winners

“The referee has indicated there will be an additional four minutes. Four minutes”

C’mon. Keep going. We only need one.
Get forward. C’mon.
Go at them, go at them.
Go on.
Yes, keep going.
Look up.
Hit iiiiiiit……………….


Lose your senses for a second, hug strangers, high five folk you don’t know. Scream. Shout. Scream again.


We’ve done it. We’ve done it.

I love football. I love my club. I LOVE last minute winners.

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Zero Hours = Zero Morals

In these austere times, employment can be unstable and most of us worry that the threat of job losses is just one bad financial result away therefore workers rights are becoming more and more important and are in great need of protection. But what of those on zero hours contracts? What rights do they have?

Zero hours contracted employees are only called to work as and when required – sometimes at an hours notice – with no obligation from the employer to use their services. Not classed as contracted employees, there is no sick pay, no holiday entitlement and no basic rights that should come with a position within any company.

Although a potential benefit for small, local businesses whose requirements vary from day to day, the zero hour contract is being increasingly used by some of Britain’s biggest company as a cheap and dispensable form of labour. Companies such as Sports Direct – with a turnover of £2,185.58m and a pre tax profit of £151.6m – have around 90% of their 22,000+ workforce on these contracts.

How can they expect people to live with such uncertainty and with no rights? There is no ability to plan a home life, no ability to budget for a home life, no ability to arrange adequate child care. As such, these contracts are labelled zero hour but they are more of an unpaid handcuff for the employee to the employers wants and desires. It is morally and ethically repugnant.

It is becoming increasingly clear that companies are veering more towards this type of labour as a cheap way manning the workforce while avoiding such trivialities as workers rights. It is an outrage and something needs to be done.

They are creating an insecure, desperate, poverty stricken workforce with no voice or rights for themselves. The Conservative government show little to no interest in the issue as it allows them to trumpet falling unemployment figures while allowing their big business and private sector friends to get a cheap and easy workforce.

If the ordinary working class workforce of the country are not careful, the Conservative government may slowly erode the rights of the worker further in the name of austerity.

Just out of interest, slavery was abolished in the United Kingdom in 1833 with the introduction of the Slavery Abolition Act of the same year.

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D Is For Domestic

Any time she spoke, he scowled.
But she spoke anyway.
Carefree and interesting was how she initially thought of him.
Dashing and handsome too.
Every head turned, every eye stared when he walked into a room.
For her, he was “the one”.
Gone though were the good days.
Here were the bad days.
If only she didn’t love him.
Just like her mum with her dad.
Kisses and punches are interchangeable.
Love and hate are bedfellows.
Marks on the body, not seen.
Not that stupid you see.
Or brave.
Punched on the back, she tumbled down the stairs.
Quietly she sobbed.
Running down her face, blood mixed with tears.
She needed to find the courage to leave.
Tomorrow. It’s always tomorrow.
Until she found it, nothing would change.
Vomiting, she decided it was time.
Waiting till he was asleep, she delivered the blows.
Xenolithic rocks can cause a skull to smash.
Yelps permeated the air as she exacted her murderous revenge.
Zigzagging through the streets, she smashed through the riverside barrier and to her watery grave.

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Anti-Social Media

Facebook will be 10 years old in February 2014. 

Has it become an all-consuming behemoth, intruding on people’s privacy and eroding the idea of human contact and friendship?  Or is it a social phenomenon, allowing people to keep in touch with long lost friends, encouraging new friendships and advancing human behaviour?

For me, it falls somewhere between the two.

First up, I don’t have a Facebook account and most probably never will.  Never really felt the need to be honest and I fail to see what improvements to my life having one will make.  But obviously I am in the minority.

For those that do have – and in some cases live their lives through – Facebook, it is the place to be.  Constant, instantaneous, interaction with friends and family is a huge attraction.  Posting photographs of what you are doing at that moment in time a draw.  Being able to catch up with long lost school friends or work colleagues may satiate the curiosity to know we are doing better than they are.  Or to see how well – or otherwise – they have aged.  Facebook allows for all this and more. 

But what about the other side of Facebook?  What about the side that encourages us to post every little private detail about our lives?  Do we really need to show pictures of our every move? Of our kids? Of our dinner?

Despite its good points, Facebook strikes me as a window into every aspect our lives.  Why do we need it?  Living our lives via Facebook is not healthy.  What’s wrong with “real” friends?  You know, the kind you can touch, talk to, laugh with, cry with.  Surely if you were friends with those kids you went to School with 20 years ago, you’d still be in touch? 

And it’s not just people.  More and more companies are using Facebook to promote themselves, to inform people or – more sinisterly – to spy on their staff.  Phoned in sick? Don’t update your profile to show you’ve spent the day in the pub.  Your boss is probably checking.

After 10 years, Facebook has grown immeasurably.  It makes the news.  And shapes it.  Most of the planet is aware of it.  But it has changed and morphed into something that is now too big to regulate.  Like the internet itself, it would appear to be a little out of control and the lack of social responsibility shown by its owners should be addressed.  We already see the site being used for nefarious purposes but there seems to be little to no moderation on the site.

So, happy 10th birthday when it comes Facebook.  You could’ve been something good.  Sadly, you chased the money and lost sight of the potential you had.  I preferred Bebo anyway.

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